


hold and carry

by Cloudnine101



Series: Stormpilot Stories [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dark, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Spaceships, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 04:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5571541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudnine101/pseuds/Cloudnine101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"What have you done?" Finn asks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I was protecting you," Poe points out, which only seems to make Finn madder.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold and carry

Poe says that he doesn't know how it happened, afterwards. It's a lie.

The mission is routine. There's a new rogue faction beginning to bud - some kind of cast off from the First Order. Two Resistance groups have been sent to dispatch it, making twelve fighter craft in total.

There aren't enough ships.

 

.

 

Finn is on Poe's left. Poe can hear him breathing across the comms. He isn't supposed to keep the line open constantly - it's a waste of resources, he's been told. What if the ship runs out of power? They need to recharge. Then he'll be in trouble.

The thing is, Finn's breathing steadies Poe - the regular _tick-tick-ticking_. That's what keeps Poe grounded. 

"Wait for my signal," Poe says, and they duck down low, almost level with the tree-line. They're practically picking up snow from the ground. 

The base is larger than anybody anticipated, and already, there are ships in the air to meet them; they're long and sleek and black, and must have been leftovers from the Starkiller base. Poe can hear Finn cursing, faintly.

They fight. Poe takes one of them, and loops back around with two on his tail. One of them explodes; Poe glances to his left, and, finding Finn absent, can't remove the clenching in his middle. Even so, he cheers - because even though Finn wasn't the man to save him, he's alive.

Poe loops, trying to shake the second off. The sky twists by beneath him. He's a kid, for a second, hands spread wide in the cock-pit of his daddy's craft. The sky is studded with brown and red streaks.

"Amara is down," Finn says. "Repeat, Amara is _down_."

Poe watches her ship spiral away, one of her main thrusters trailing away behind. He turns back. It's a rookie mistake - he took a second too long, or something. One of the shooters blasts him - takes his wing clear off. Finn calls out something, but Poe's falling too fast.

Fumbling for the chute, Poe yells. The top disk cracks; fragments of material rain down over his head. Poe ducks. The pain is searing - his arms have held most of the damage, and blood is running down them, and he can't kriffin' see.

Poe slides the top disk back hundred feet from the ground, and pulls the cord four feet later. His hands are slipping. He is tangled, but is yanked out properly. The craft crashes to the ground below, in a plume of smoke. Poe brings up his hands to shield his face, and finds them slick.

He touches down among the trees. The chute gets tangled on branches; Poe is left hanging in mid-air. He's got a knife in his back leg holster, so he gets to work sawing at the cords. The sounds of gunfire continue to boom overhead - more than once, Poe is certain he's going to be captured, certain enough to press himself flat against the tree and wait.

The fall to the ground is relatively short - well, not _short_...enough that he'd _survive_ \- but Poe isn't taking any chances. Swinging himself around, he grips the tree two-handed, wedging his knees and shins into holes in the bark.

"Poe!" Finn yells. He's standing beside Brozz, and smiling upwards. He's got a hand shielding his eyes. He looks handsome, Poe thinks. When doesn't he?

Poe salutes. Twisting back around, he begins the descent. Brozz is speaking into the comms, telling somebody that they've found the captain. Poe concentrates on keeping his breathing even. He isn't looking down.

The Troopers burst into the clearing without warning - must've muted their steps somehow. Some of them are wearing standard issue armour; some of them just have shoulder pads or chest plates or helmets. They're the leftovers from previous attacks, most likely. That's what makes them vicious.

Brozz is shot twice in the head. He tumbles sideways, almost knocking Finn down. Finn's struggling with his own gun, and then one of them is edging his way. Poe must scream his name, or something - his head's ringing too badly, and he's sweating. Everything seems covered in blood, now - thick and red, pulsing.

The Trooper fires the gun, and Finn is not killed because the bolt is stopped. It's hovering, almost touching Finn's chest. Finn has his eyes closed. He opens them.

Poe's head is pounding. He lowers his hand, and the bolt is gone. He wants to speak - talk to Finn, ask him if he's alright - but Finn looks terrified. _Ashen_. Like he wants to tear off into the woodland and never come back.

The Troopers fly backwards. They're picked up off their feet and pulled. A few crash into the trees surrounding them; their heads knock backwards, a rhythmic thunk, bang, bang. The others float. They're clutching at their throats.

Finn is looking up at him. Slowly - _slowly_ \- he seems to understand.

 

.

 

In the aftermath, Poe lies for all he's worth. He says that some kind of Jedi must have been there - a good one, maybe. He can't say anything for certain. It was night. The base was much larger than anticipated. The reconnaissance droids must have failed. Everyone was panicking, and the Troopers - 

Finn says: no, no, it _was_ a First Order Member - maybe even Kylo Ren, or someone - because it was red, everything was red, and it was dark and choking and no, he couldn't make anybody out, and Poe couldn't either.

"A _good_ dark Jedi, is what you're telling us," a councilman laughs.

Finn stares at Poe. Poe doesn't meet his eyes when he answers: _yes. It must have been._

 

.

 

Finn confronts him. Poe was half-expecting him to be angry. Instead, he only seems resigned. He shoves Poe up against the wall all the same, hissing and spitting, jabbing a finger into his chest.

"What have you done?" Finn asks. 

"I was protecting you," Poe points out, which only seems to make Finn madder. "I should have done more. I should have done it sooner. Brozz - he was a great pilot. And a friend."

Finn's hold loosens. "Oh, yeah? How do I know you didn't kill him, too?"

Poe smiles, as gently as he can. "Didn't you hear the councilman?" he jokes. "A _good_ dark Jedi."

Finn collapses backwards, as though the air has been knocked from his lungs. "I don't believe this," he says.

"You'd better." Smoothing down the creases in his uniform, Poe crosses the distance between them. His hands are clean, now. "Don't tell, Finn. Please. I'm asking you not to."

Finn's chin rises. "Why shouldn't I?" he bites. 

Poe swallows. "Because I've gotta say that I love you first."

Poe kisses him softly - barely enough to leave an impression. Finn sags against him. They both hit the wall. Poe tugs Finn towards him; Finn leans into his chest, so Poe runs his fingers through his hair. Finn is tense against him. Poe wonders what it would take to make him forget about all of this - knows that he's strong enough to make things right. 

"It's all alright," Poe finds himself saying, staring out towards the forest. There are no spaces between the trees that are not filled with shadow. "We don't need to fight this." 

"Why not?"

Finn's eyes are red-rimmed. Poe brushes a way a tear, and goes for a smile.

"'Cause I say so, that's why."

Finn laughs. The sound is hoarse, but it's a beginning. It's what Poe wanted - that, and Finn's hand in his own, and the promise that he wouldn't leave. And he won't, now.

"I need a drink," Finn says, out of the blue. 

Chuckling, Poe claps his back. He allows himself to keep the contact for longer than he should.


End file.
